Found by my friend Elizabeth Wilson. This guy is absolutely the best.

Quote: "I love you because you realize I'm touchy-feely and trust me to cuddle with other people when you're not around". Really, does it get any better than that? I'm sure she "trusts" this guy a whole lot. Well, I hope he gets to cuddle with lots of chicks, sticks it to his parents, and does what he does. Good luck my man.

Editor's note:

The names of both the originator and intended recipient of this opus have been redacted.